Somedays

.
Somedays I just walk across the road with looking,
hoping, deep down, a car hapens to be passing.
.
Somedays while in the bathtub I rub soap in feet,
hoping I just slip away.
.
Somedays I hope my teeth rot out of my mouth,
and that my throat will dry up ,
hoping I won't ever be able to speak again.
.
Somedays I hope my nails fall out of the tip my fingers,
so I can't write anymore.
.
And my eyes, my eyes would fall out of my face,
so I can not see anymore.
.
I push everyone out,
hoping they strugle to get in.
.
I've never felt more like myself,
and without news I hate it.
.
I continue to accuse god of not existing.
I continue to curse humanity for living.
.
I hate every part of right now,
hoping the later will be more mercifull.
.
I think and think until I'm numb beyond belief,
or all I can do is fucking cry.
.
This endless cycles of highs and lows,
are running me thin.
.
It feels like I'm becoming less and less of a person,
with every sunset.
If only I could fade faster.
.
I feel I'm better of alone,
We suffer alone and we die alone.
.
Friendship is Overrated.
.